California Dreamin'

September 17, 2008 Blog

I am writing this blog in California, where the sun always shines and it seldom rains. Cars don't rust here, but you see fewer oldies on the road than in New Jersey. The 16-lane freeways are stuffed full of late-model SUVs and Hummers. You wouldn't guess that gas prices are highest in the nation. California uses about 20% of America's energy and there is enough oil off shore to supply the state's needs, but Californians don't want drilling along their coasts.

If you see someone with a nice tan, he or she is probably Mexican. Many Californians have pools in their backyards, but they prefer air-conditioned living rooms with big screen TVs.

Swimming pools are filled with drinking water fed through green-coded pipes, but lawns and parks are irrigated with water from purple- coded pipes. Purple indicates recycled water. They use recycled water on field crops like spinach, peppers, tomatoes and salad. A couple of years ago, New Jersey farmers took a beating because of an e coli outbreak that was finally traced to California spinach. More recently, it was traced to tomatoes and peppers. Uncooked veggies that are irrigated with recycled sewer water are not good for your health, but the FDA won't tell you that. California agricultural exports are worth billions. New Jersey's crop loss was just a drop in the bucket in comparison.

Please don't think I am picking on California. I am writing in this state and it is somehow refreshing to realize that New Jersey is not the only rouge state.

Flying Lite

We are flying with Southwest Airlines. It is probably the only airline that allows two bags per passenger at no extra cost. In order to show her gratitude for such generosity, my wife crammed all of our things into one suitcase. As a result. the bag was a pound too heavy and the lady at the check-in desk said we would have to pay a $25 penalty. I opened the suitcase and removed a few items, putting them into a carry-on. Carry-on bags are never weighed.

In my rush to redistribute our belongings, I forgot that I was carrying a 2 1/2-inch Swiss Army Knife. It was of course discovered and confiscated, but I didn't land in jail. When they checked our carry-on bags, we discovered that shaving cream and Crest toothpaste are potential weapons of mass destruction.  These too were confiscated.

When boarding a flight from Kansas City to Phoenix, we showed valid passports for personal identification. The officer rejected them and asked if we had any other personal identification. I argued that the passports were issued by the United States of America Embassy in Vienna, Austria, but he remained unmoved. Only after showing him our New Jersey drivers licenses was he satisfied.

It's a good feeling, knowing that Homeland Security is doing its job.

We have made four flights so far and have two to go before we get home. Stay tuned!