The birds in our area are welfare recipients. All summer, my wife fed sugar water to the humming birds. Now that it's getting colder, she feeds seed to other birds.

If we didn't feed the birds, they would have to work for a living, but my wife doesn't have the heart to pull the plug on their lifestyle. She could get a job working for the US Government. When the birds find an empty feeder, they look quizzically towards the kitchen window and my wife gets the message. Soon, the bird feeder is filled to the brim with top quality nourishment.

I also spend money to feed wildlife. My wife provides assisted living for birds while I provide assisted suicide for rodents and groundhogs. I buy glue traps and Juicy Fruit chewing gum for mice and moles. I once fed a groundhog dry hominy grits, but it rained. The meal swelled up before it got into the groundhog's stomach.

My wife just came home with a package of thistle seed for the birds. She wanted to be certain that the birds wouldn't suffer the same fate as babies who drink Chinese milk or play with Chinese toys, so she read the label carefully.

In bold print and in three languages, the package clearly stated: "Made in USA".