FIRST BABY BOOMER ON SOCIAL SECURITY

October 17, 2007 Blog

Welcome Boomers!

I heard in the news yesterday that the first official Baby Boomer is now on Social Security.

We can expect the Social Security System to break down entirely as more and more Boomers get on board.

Being born in 1938 and 1940 (my wife doesn’t read these blogs) makes us War Babies. War babies are indebted to the Boomers who paid for our Social Security. I want to repay a part of that debt by telling the Boomers what it is like to live on Social Security.

 

DEAR BABY BOOMER,

First of all, you need to sell your Beamer and buy a Beetle. The Beetle is not cheap but it uses less gas and needs fewer repairs. Also, Beetles are cool and driving them makes Boomers feel young again.

Japanese cars are okay, but people who drive them are considered unpatriotic even though they are the only cars still made in the USA -- except for Beamers and Beetles. Most “American” cars are only put together here.

No one seems to mind that everything else is made in China.

The current US News & World Report gives sound advice to investors, Boomers in particular. Buy China stocks! China needs our money to buy American real estate.

Unless you have invested in China stocks, you can no longer afford the Beamer and you need every penny of your Social Security check to pay your property taxes.

Any other income you may have will go for medical needs, but don’t worry; you won’t starve to death. You can probably live a year on Boomer obesity and after that, there are Meals on Wheels and the South Jersey Food Bank.

Just today, I received a nice Thanksgiving card from the South Jersey Food Bank.
 

FIRST THANKSGIVING CARD OF 2007

The SJFB writes:

"Dear Mr. Ralph Harvey,

"I'm writing you today about our 2007 Thanksgiving Appeal, perhaps the most important fundraising campaign we conduct all year.

"Most people in South Jersey don't realize how many of their neighbors are struggling to feed themselves and their families. At this very special time of year, there is no greater blessing than helping those in need in our community.

"The Hungry are young, innocent children who go to bed with empty, aching stomachs because their working-poor parents can't always afford to put food on the table. They are proud, elderly men and women who are barely surviving on fixed incomes, unable to afford both their medicine and meals. They are Americans who simply cannot make ends meet with the cost of living today.

"A successful Thanksgiving Appeal will go a long way toward fighting the problem of hunger in South Jersey. A gift from you now of $25 or $35 will make it possible for us to provide more meals to your hungry neighbors. So please give as much as you can to the Food Bank of South Jersey today. Thank you."

Inserted in my Thanksgiving card is a response card which gives me the choice of donating $25, $35, $50 or ($ Other) to the SJFB and this final appeal:

"Mr. Harvey, your support is needed now more than ever so the Food Bank of South Jersey can help feed hungry children, seniors and families in South Jersey."

I know that the SJFB has my address, because it was printed on the envelope. They have my name because it is mentioned twice in the card. The SJFB knows all about our needy neighbors and their starving children, but it apparently doesn't know that my wife and I are two of those "proud, elderly men and women who are barely surviving on fixed incomes, unable to afford both their medicine and meals." The card neglects to tell us how we can obtain our food package.

I think I should write them a note.

Welcome Boomers! You now belong to that group of Americans who "simply cannot make ends meet with the cost of living today."

You can expect to get many nice greeting cards like the one I just received. And if you are fortunate enough to live in South Jersey, your SJFB Thanksgiving food package may help compensate for the highest property taxes in the country.

I can hardly wait to meet you at the Senior Center!